


Helpful Sherlock is Helpful

by gloria_scott



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Childbirth, Gen, Humor, Texting, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-06
Updated: 2010-12-06
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloria_scott/pseuds/gloria_scott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock helps deliver a baby and texts John for advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helpful Sherlock is Helpful

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://sherlockbbc.livejournal.com/profile)[**sherlockbbc**](http://sherlockbbc.livejournal.com/) Make Me a Monday prompt from [](http://rowtree.livejournal.com/profile)[**rowtree**](http://rowtree.livejournal.com/) . Not beta’d or brit-picked.    
> **  
> **

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:18 PM   


Delivering baby. Boiling H2O – necessary?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:19 PM   


Sorry – wtf are you on about?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:20 PM   


Boiling H2O – helpful for birthing a baby or merely cliché?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:22 PM   


Unless you’re planning on making soup out of it, cliché 

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:23 PM   


Right

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:23 PM   


Thx

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:27 PM   


Re: breathing. Anything to that Lamaze rubbish?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:29 PM   


Srsly Sherlock, where are you & what the hell are you doing?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:30 PM   


DELIVERING BABY!!111!!

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:30 PM   


Making me repeat self – NOT HELPFUL

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:33 PM   


Your joking

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:34 PM   


You’re

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:35 PM   


And in all of our acquaintance, have I ever once told a joke?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:36 PM   


Shit!

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:36 PM   


You’re delivering a baby?!

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:37 PM   


Right. Useless. I’m txting Stamford

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:38 PM   


Nononono – tell me where you are – I’ll come

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:40 PM   


No time. Head coming. Be here b-4 you.

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:41 PM   


Ok – do you have towels? Something to clean it/wrap it up.

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:42 PM   


Also – something to suck the mucous out of nose/mouth

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:43 PM   


Pipette?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:44 PM   


That’ll work

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:45 PM   


Pref one that hasn’t touched a corpse

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:46 PM   


OBVIOUSLY!

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:46 PM   


I assure you, John, my knowledge of pathology and etiology rivals (or exceeds) your own

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:47 PM   


NEXT!

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:48 PM   


Well what’s happening now?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:50 PM   


Head’s out. Looks purple.

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:51 PM   


Ok it’s fine. Tell her she needs to bear down & really push w/ the next contraction & should be there

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:52 PM   


If you can grab GENTLY & pull/guide it out coinciding w/ her pushing/contraction

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 10:59 PM   


Got it?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:17 PM   


GOT IT?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:33 PM   


Yes, yes – mother & child on way to hospital

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:35 PM   


Well?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:36 PM   


Well what?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:37 PM   


Well what is it? Boy or girl?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:38 PM   


What does it matter?

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:40 PM   


Most normal people like to know these things

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:41 PM   


GIRL

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:41 PM   


Will never understand obsession w/ binary gendering of infants. Boy, girl – irrelevant until at least puberty.

  
John Watson (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:42 PM   


I despair of you sometimes. You know that, right?

  
Sherlock Holmes (Mobile)  
March 02, 2010 11:50 PM   


Be home in 20 min. Pls clear top shelf of refrigerator. Keeping placenta for stem cell experiment. 

  


 

  


  


  


  



End file.
